i leave England today and start my new life abroad! i'm excited, apprehensive and sad. it's been hard saying goodbye to friends, family and my pets. i'll be offline for a while until i get broadband set up - but i will be back soon!

NUMBER OF PPL BLOCKED: 71 and rising!

**This channel is dedicated to my late Father... he's not dead, he's just never on time! Joking aside, I did recently lose my Grandmother... but it was a great game of poker, I lost her fair and square.**

i think i'm proper mad but cuz i think i am, i'm probably not. if i thought i wasn't a loony then i might be, but i do, so i'm not... i think. or is it just a conspiracy against me?

10 words to describe my personality: shy, moody, intelligent, honest, selfish, caring, funny, quiet, sensitive, weird, inumerate.

Likes: gambling (winning), music, furry animals, football, Star Wars, the 80s, Eurovision Song Contest, horse racing, Christiano Ronaldo, darts, horror films, Tour de France, Dennis Ovens (darts legend), money, WWF (80s and 90s), sunbathing, playing pool, Derby County FC, chocolate, mental people.

Dislikes: gambling (losing), moths, frogs, spiders, cotton wool, Britain, seafood, smokers, hip-hop, winter, smelly/fat/ugly people, clowns, cricket, christmas, alarm clocks, beards, honey, compiling lists of my dislikes.

fav food: ice cream
fav drink: coke or cherry 7up
fav sport: darts
fav colour: blue
fav actors: Al Pacino, De Niro, Jack Nicholson
fav animal: tiger
fav posession: my laptop
fav place: my bed or the beach
fav word beginning with c: clag
fav band: Abba
fav tv shows: Dragon's Den, Hells Kitchen, The Apprentice, How Clean Is Your House, Wife Swap

here's a list of my top 25 fav films of all-time. they're all movies i enjoyed as a child. these films have a certain magical appeal which i don't get from watching movies today, no matter how great they are: The Omen 1 & 2, The Neverending Story, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Batman, Aliens, Jaws, The Shining, Nightmare On Elm Street 1 & 3, The Terminator, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return Of The Jedi, Salem's Lot, Rocky 4, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Pink Panther Strikes Again, Revenge Of The Pink Panther, Silver Streak, Twilight Zone The Movie, House, Misery, The Lost Boys, Robocop

and here are some more films i absolutely love: The Evil Dead, Heat, This Boy's Life, Cat's Eyes, The Thing (remake), Stand By Me, Wizard Of Oz, Falling Down, Superman 2, Jaws 2, The Grudge, Edward Scissorhands, Dawn Of The Dead (original and remake), Zoltan, Halloween 1 & 2, Hard Eight, Cape Fear (remake), The Running Man, Freddy vs Jason, Alien 3, Die Hard, 16 Blocks, Man On Fire, Batman Returns, Ghostbusters, End Of Days, Sexy Beast, Big, Gremlins, Terminator 2 & 3, 88 Minutes, Friday 13th series, Two Brothers, Ravenous, Predator, Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom, The Punisher, Sea Of Love, Silence Of The Lambs, Hannibal, Phar Lap, Shawshank Redemption, One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, Poltergeist.

and here's some more i love, but not quite as much as those above: Switchblade Romance, A.I., Saw, Midnight Run, From Dusk Till Dawn, 300, Hellraiser series, Death Sentence, Dune, Vamp, Troll, Man On The Moon, House Of Wax (remake), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake) and TCM: The Beginning, The Hills Have Eyes (remake), Jeepers Creepers 2, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, Dead Man's Shoes, Hostel 1 & 2, London To Brighton, Final Destination triology, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pan's Labrynth, The Untouchables, 3.10 To Yuma (remake), Unforgiven, Wolf Creek, Fargo, The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen, Scream 1 & 2, House Of 1000 Corpses, 13 Ghosts.

I don't support EMOs - or any other large flightless birds for that matter.

If I were Prime Minister, I would....
1) Make it compulsory for dogs to wear underwear in public
2) Install Ric Flair as Minister of Wooooooos
3) Create a national 'Big Face Index' like there is for blood donors
4) Deport all fat ugly smelly people
5) Invade France

Now I shall list the Bagpuss characters, in order of their suitability to operate heavy machinery. Here goes...
5) The Mice - way 2 small. feet wouldn't reach the pedals
4) Madelaine - 2 weak and girly
3) Professor Yaffle - 2 old and birdy
2) Gabriel - could probably do a decent enough job
1) Bagpuss - you're hired!

and finally, my four fav Sid Waddell descriptions of some random darts players:
4) of Tony Eccles: "He looks like a King Otter who's just had dental surgery".
3) of Denis Ovens: "He looks like a tramp who's just crawled out of a hedge"
2) of Dennis Priestley: "He's got eyes like the bully of a hungry chaffinch"
1) of Wayne Mardle: "He looks like a gorilla screaming for more sugar on his banana"
Sir Sidney, you are a GENIUS!